I am firmly against evolution. Do you seriously think that the universe was created on a petri dish? Like all that occupies the space-time dent was created in a fraction of a second by the universe expanding around an epicenter during the Big Bang and expanding on forever? Call me religious, but I prefer to conform to the view that apes laid stones one after the other with Lord Ram’s name engraved on them, to create a bridge that can be compared to the creation of this world. Fuck yea.
Introducing Lord Shiva.
Lord Shiva, according to Hindu mythology, and C-Grade TV shows is “The Destroyer”. And the C-grade TV shows in question are not even WWE.
He is like a real God. With a bazooka.
Once Lord Shiva got so tired of the dreary dead habit prevalent in the Universe that he almost started dancing rhythmically in wild rage so that another God could rebuild it from scratch. All the while looking like this:
And this isn’t even a Rajnikanth or Chuck Norris joke.
And to top it all off, he rides a snake to work. What do you drive to work bitch? A sad Honda Civic. The only other person who can match Lord Shiva in this aspect is Lord Voldemort.
Shiva can be prayed to on the move. This is in case you are not really devoted and do not have a real shrine complete with an audio system that plays spiritual hymns in the morning in your luggage, you have the flexibility to worship an ovoid piece of glossy stone. Its called a Shiva Lingam, and you can clean it with any household surface cleaning agent.
The lingam is actually a phallus. So everytime anyone prays to Lord Shiva, they are actually praying to a huge shiny dick. What could be a better way to force man’s domination over all other sexes than by making everyone pray to a black penis. Black penises rule the world. Go male chauvinism.
On a side note, it also rhymes with chewing gum, Ming’s bum and I feel so numb.
You losers would argue that there exists only one God who rests inside you, or a scientific illusion created by man to rest his faith on. That your mono-theological views are the only views that exist. Or if you are cool, that religion is a lie. Go atheism. Then here is a blowjob gesture with me pressing my tongue against my left cheek while moving my fist like i am pulling on an imaginary penis.
If you still do not agree, I will bomb up your national monuments, ugly urban architecture (yes 9/11) and random eating destinations and play One Direction at your place of worship.
Other Gods may be kind and benevolent and care for Their Followers. Shiva does too. Just that he likes them better in a state of coma. To The Heavenly father Who Dwelt in Heaven, everyone is special. Unless your God is not Shiva.
Sourcasm 
Nice, wry style you’ve got.
Btw, I’m not sure of the Shiva’s dick part is true : http://hinduism.about.com/od/lordshiva/p/shivastories.htm
Hey. Don’t take me legit when I say that My God is better than Your God. We all know The Holy Giant Flying Rabbit created us.
“Just then a colossal ‘lingam’, known as Jyotirlinga, blanketed in flames, appeared before them. Both Brahma and Vishnu were awestruck by its rapidly increasing size. They forgot their quarrel and decided to determine its size. Vishnu assuming the form of a boar went to the netherworld and Brahma as a swan flew to the skies. But both of them failed to accomplish the self-assumed tasks. Then, Shiva appeared out of the ‘lingam’ and stated that he was the progenitor of them both and that henceforth he should be worshiped in his phallic form, the ‘lingam’, and not in his anthropomorphic form.”
^wow, this mythology shit is actually better.
Shape? He is shapeless as the five great forces without them we cannot live. Do you know who is Shiva? How much? Before writing a word, you should make a research on Him. Little knowledge is always useless and Danger. Have a deep research on Lord Shiva. Does your Volde ever know what is ‘Love’? But, We say, Shiva is Love; He is the divine pure Fire; has no beginning and end; gives equal share to His woman in His everything; He is womb, fetus, child, mother, father, friend, cosmos; five forces; everything. His every part is legend. The phallus consists of three parts- upper, middle, lower namely the trinity- three Gods- Lord Brahma, the Creator, Lord Vishnu, the Saviour and Lord Shiva, the Destroyer. He destroys the evil, not the good one. Moreover, we all have our fixed death date. Taking one’s life is the work of Yama, not Shiva. Moreover, He never shows partiality between the Angels and demons; He took the poison to save the world, even it is a story; will your Volde take poison to save you? Volde’s horcruxes were destroyed by HP and friends. Could you say HP and his friends are also equal to Volde in the matter of destruction?
Never. Destruction for evil differs from destruction for good.
Even God instructed Nova to build an arc, remember? For what? Destruction.
A little story for you- Once a mother heard that her daughter needed immediate assistance in her labour. Unfortunately, she was struck on the other side of the flooded river. She had to cross the river to her daughter’s home. The mother worried. Her daughter in pain, was a devotee of Lord Shiva cried as, ‘Mother’. Shiva Himself ran to the daughter in the shape of her mother. He set everything right and He sat beside her and the new born baby, untill her own mother reached home after the flood set calm. And He disappeared. So He is more than a mother. We call Him- He is also the Mother.
‘Argumentation’ is welcome, but after full research, I request you. May Lord Shiva bless you.
Hey there! I really love your blog and have hence nominated you for the “One Lovely Blog Award” 🙂
Check it out: http://happilyunhappy25.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/nomination-for-one-love-blog-award/
Hey, this blog is from 2011. The only thing this thrash deserves to be nominated for is the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge so that the servers hosting it start malfunctioning. If you must nominate 2nd grade writing from the ISC Humanities, I highly recommend this: http://theverboseauteur.wordpress.com/
The one who have created the world also carried the power to destroy it and so as you fucking asshole people bloody disgusting fellow who u r to judge our almighty shiva remember all gods are same weather its jesus shiva aur allah respect all religion and the god they have created you and me and all the human living here plz don’t abuse then bcuz if u do so on day your definitely gonna die a brutally dead mother fucker son of a bitch
Shivendra Bhagwan on my blog! I’m so blessed Sir, chai/coffee?
How may I serve thee the One and Only True Lord?
How may I serve for your RSS affiliates, the One and Only True Representatives of Our One and Only True God?
How may I serve your Moral Dictates, the One and Only True Moral Way of Life?
Bitch.